The Male Ostrich - A Manual For The Modern Man, By Gary Grange

Feeling rejected, you just carry on, moving from table to
table using the exact same script, approaching every
miss cynical along the way. until eventually you find
one who’s either too drunk or too desperate to care.

So lads, if you want to prevent yourself from being
branded a “tosser” by the opposite sex, all you need to
do is find yourself a corner to stand in and say
absolutely nothing.

Now if any women happen to read this and they want
some advise on how to prevent themselves becoming a
victim of one of these stereo typical men, here are a few
tips

1) Try concentrating your efforts on the men who spend
their nights standing in corners.

2) Don’t rely on men having good eyesight, or being
telepathic when trying to attract their attention.

3) Instead of sitting waiting for Mr Right to arrive and
sweep you off your feet, why not try and do some of the
approach work yourselves, Considering the way things
are going in the arse department, girls, a white elephant
might be a more appropriate steed for Mr Right to ride
in on.