The Male Ostrich - A Manual For The Modern Man, By Gary Grange

There are many different places for men to introduce
themselves to members of the opposite sex, with some
of the most frequently used locations being the local
pub or nightclub.

But more often than not he only ends up confirming
what his optician has been telling him for years; he
definitely needs glasses. Unfortunately for him, the nice
charming girl that he'd hoped for, turns out to be a half
pissed miss cynical, who spent the entire evening
sitting on her large "alcohol inflated"
arse waiting for

When he's finished surveying all the potential long
term partners and he eventually spots what seems, in
his eyes anyway, a nice friendly looking girl, he decides
to make his move to try and confirm what his eyes have
been telling him.

It's a well known fact that most men on a night out
need to consume large amounts of alcohol before they
would consider approaching any member of the
opposite sex. There are three main reasons for this: First
the man needs to build up some much needed "dutch
courage". second he needs alcohol to help insulate his
feelings against the many refusals that will surely come
his way. And third he needs to give himself lots of time
to survey his surroundings before deciding which
potential victim to make his move on. Sorry did I say
victim! What I actually meant was potential long term partner.